Would the price of housing ever feel like a bargain? This question had a surprising answer for one family of seven living in Utah. Their journey to discovering that yes, the price could indeed feel like a bargain, certainly presented many challenges along the way.
When Maren Droubay and her husband moved their five children from Salt Lake City to New York City, they weren’t just putting down roots in a new address; they were transplanting their whole lifestyle. Their six-bedroom house, with its autos and lawn equipment, was superseded by a three-bedroom apartment where every inch had to count. Letting go meant saying farewell to three-quarters of their wardrobe, most of their furniture, and both of their autos. The relocation involved several months of packing and planning: overhauling their older house to prepare for sale, searching for doctors and schools in Manhattan, for example.
The apartment hunt is a leap of faith. Droubay leveraged Facebook groups and Reddit forums, posting the following targeted request for a three-bedroom apartment within a certain geographic area. A response resulted in what Droubay calls “kismet” a apartment with a washer/dryer, elevator access, and city skyline vistas, including the Statue of Liberty. The entire family agreed to the new home sight unseen via virtual tours. The two boys have a triple bunk in the largest bedroom, the two girls share the smaller bedroom, with a crib and double bed, the parents have the front bedroom.
Looking after their emotional needs is as essential as finalizing the lease. The weekly family meetings provided opportunities to ask questions, look at pictures of New York City, and compile their “bucket list” of things to do once they got to New York. The use of relocation strategies in parenting recommends creating a “decision-rich relocation environment” by involving the children in decisions such as room decor and activities to engage in after relocation. The Droubays’ children, used to traveling due to homeschooling, easily accepted this move, though saying goodbyes to their Utah home and friends certainly caused sorrow.
City life proved a challenge to her expectations. Droubay was concerned with neighborhood and strangers’ reactions toward a large family living in close proximity. Rather, she was surprised with public generosity strangers carrying strollers on the subway, offering a place to sit, and guiding children through the station. As indicated in the experiences gained through relocation, living in the city can be frustrating, but the necessity for everyday engagement leads toward a faster building of the community. Nonetheless, the lack of their community support within the state of Utah creates a dilemma for a rebuilding process of their village.
In financial terms, the difference is dramatic. The cost of housing is twice as much, and the cost of groceries is approximately 30% higher, with cereal that cost $2 in Utah now costing $10 here. There are also increased expenditures to eat out, although some bills are lower, as there are no car payments, gas, or insurance. However, public transportation is inexpensive. Downtown museums are also free to residents and children.
While the modern urban environment comes at many expenses in addition to financial, many studies on “urban desirability paradox” reveal that the urban environment, despite the greater income and opportunities for culture, trails in well-being measures when compared to the countryside because of the increased living expenses, for example. In terms of family dynamics, it involves the balancing of the many tangible benefits of living in the urban environment and the many intangible stresses, such as the loss of space and pain of separation from extended families.
As for Droubay, it is all about having one lifelong aim: creating an enriched childhood. “It’s their day, too. It’s their life, too. It’s their childhood, too,” she firmly declares, meaning that it is up to the parents to opt for the unconventionally good life. They are confronting the realities of downsizing, the complexities of city life, and the cultural richness of New York City, where their children are currently having their own version of the dream life, which they once thought was only a myth.
