“People are substituting the time long spent in company of others with novel digital routines… It’s the new fertility control regime,” University of Texas at Austin sociology professor Mark Regnerus said. His sentences reflect a subtle but deep change in the way America’s youngest generation Gen Z are thinking about marriage, children, and relationships.
A new NBC News Decision Desk survey finds that although Gen Z women and men share some gauges of success, their values split decisively when it comes to building a family. Political ideology widens the gap. Among Trump-voting Gen Z men, having children was the most highly ranked individual measure of personal success, followed closely by fourth-ranked marriage. For Gen Z women who voted for Kamala Harris, kids came in almost last second least significant and marriage was 11th. Even across the same party, gender was an issue: Gen Z women who voted for Trump likewise placed marriage and children below their male counterparts, while Harris-voting men placed them above Harris-voting women.
Beyond politics, the survey discovered some shared ground. Men and women in Gen Z listed a successful career, sufficient finances to live well, and independence at the head of their success list. However, slight gaps still existed men listed marriage and kids at seventh and eighth, whereas women relegated them to 10th and 11th, instead choosing to be debt-free and spiritually centered.
These changing priorities are taking place against a background of deep isolation. A December GWI survey discovered that about eight in 10 Gen Zers had felt lonely during the last year, mirroring wider research which revealed that 73% of 16- to 24-year-olds often or always feel alone. Loneliness, the experts caution, is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and its causes are deep-seated in a generation brought up on smartphones and social media. The smartphone is creating new and interesting content, which is gradually but surely replacing the people that are around us, Regnerus observed.
This social isolation could be shaping the very marriage and child attitudes the survey revealed. With fewer shared face-to-face experiences and the loss of “third places” such as cafes and community centers, Gen Z’s relationships are frequently online and online connections don’t necessarily equal the type of emotional closeness that fosters long-term relationships or raising kids. The result is a generation redefining success on terms that frequently push traditional milestones of family to the side.
The implications stretch beyond personal choice. The Congressional Budget Office projects the U.S. fertility rate will average just 1.6 births per woman over the next three decades well below the 2.1 needed for population stability without immigration. This mirrors a global trend, but in the U.S., the decline is tied to a mix of economic pressures, shifting gender roles, climate anxiety, and evolving cultural norms. For others, as University of Maine sociologist Amy Blackstone noted, being childfree is a part of who they are, highlighted by social media groups and hashtags such as #childfree.
Technology’s impact in influencing these decisions cannot be denied. Gen Z is the first generation to come of age fully in the digital world, and their love lives show it. Online dating is limitless but can cause “choice overload,” making users less happy and more reluctant to commit. Social media, though providing connection, also breeds comparison and anxiety, particularly among young women who, according to surveys, are more likely than men to feel ongoing anxiety about the future.
Nevertheless, analysts warn against reducing the shifting to a negative. Numerous young adults are purposefully delaying or abstaining from marriage and having children so that they can pursue mental well-being, professional development, and self-satisfaction. For some, it is a matter of establishing stability first before assuming family responsibilities; for others, it’s a matter of eschewing traditional societal scripts altogether. As Blackstone quipped, “Everyone’s choice to make the decision that is best for them” deserves to be honored.
The gender imbalance in Gen Z’s attitudes toward marriage and children is more than a number it’s a manifestation of the ways politics, technology, and cultural evolution are redefining what it means to live a good life. And as loneliness and low birth rates merge, the real question isn’t so much if more young adults will opt for marriage and children, but how society will adjust if they don’t.
