It really speaks to the power of this signal, and the idea that we need to have something to help us make sure people are safe, Andrea Gunraj, vice president of public engagement for the Canadian Women’s Foundation, told NPR. That strength was in all its glory in Alhambra, California, where a woman’s subtle gesture behind her back led police to arrest a suspect for domestic violence.
According to police, the incident occurred in a 7-Eleven on Aug. 19. The unidentified woman was accompanying a man later identified as 38-year-old John Palombi in the store. Standing in the store, she used a silent distress signal-tucking her thumb into the palm of her hand and covering it with her fingers-to indicate she needed help. This action, led by the Women’s Funding Network as the “Signal for Help,” was made discreet so that it would not inform a perpetrator but would raise the interest of a person who knows it and what it means.
A worker in the store had seen the sign and called the police immediately. The police officers arrived and spoke briefly to the couple. They asked Palombi to step out. He attempted to flee upon trying to pat him down but was caught before he could leave the parking lot. A stun gun and an outstanding warrant were found on him by the police. Palombi is currently in custody at the Los Angeles Men’s Central Jail with his court appearance due on September 11.
First created during COVID-19 lockdowns when victims found themselves all alone at home with their abusers, the “Signal for Help” can be done in one fluid motion: palm out, thumb in, fingers closed. Already credited with saving lives, from a missing teenager found after signaling to a driver to victims signaling on video calls. As Women’s Funding Network President Elizabeth Barajas-Roman said, “Signal for Help is a lifeline for women, girls, and trans and non-binary people so they can discreetly ask for the assistance they need to escape violence in their homes.”
These warning signs are pretty easily recognizable. What’s equally important, the experts warn, is to act safely. The Canadian Women’s Foundation says 911 may not be the safest first step because calling can escalate the danger. Instead, if you have a relationship with the person, try checking in cautiously-ask yes-or-no questions like “Would you like me to connect you with a shelter?”
Make messages general, in case their phones are monitored, and refer them to reliable resources, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, for advice. Research on bystander intervention does maintain that though rapid identification and action may be of some use, it also depends upon particular circumstances. What the experiments show is that victims are more likely to respond well when the intervention is directed at them in providing support, distracting, or helping them leave than trying to directly address the attacker and risking increasing peril.
Intervention by a relative or friend is more likely to be received than intervention by strangers, but strangers can still play a very vital role in situations of acute emergency, such as this case in Alhambra. And the psychology that underpins why so many victims do not seek help verbally is complex: vengeance, shame, and suspicion of formal mechanisms-things that all could silence a person. That is what makes signs like the “Signal for Help” so imperative: these provide a way for survivors to ask for aid without uttering a word.
To community safety campaigners, this means a clear message: learn the signal, share it, and be prepared to react with an action which allows the victim to be kept safe. This California case vividly illustrates that one hand gesture, through speed and informed action, will shatter the circle of violence and open access to safety.
